nowhammies
Artemis
Big bucks, No Whammies, STOP!
Posts: 392
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Post by nowhammies on Jul 14, 2008 6:09:08 GMT -11
Oh well that explains it! I couldn't figure out how the heck he'd come up with it - or why.
From John Hodgman's book "The Areas of My Expertise" - some of his favorite hobo names (he lists like 600 of them):
Stewbuilder Dennis, Cholly the Yegg, Whispering Lies McGruder, Nit Louse, Sistery Brothery Nabob, All-but-dissertation Tucker Dummychuck, Meep Meep the Italian Tailor, Rumpshaker Phil, Feminine Forearms Rosengarten, Pansy Overpass
Why does he have hobo names? God only knows - it is an odd little book - but kind of funny.
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Post by blondeness on Jul 14, 2008 13:00:43 GMT -11
The other night my son and daughter and I were playing Scrabble. My son is 11, so I was helping him a bit the first few turns. He declared he was fine and presented the word "edguj"- to which my daughter and I claimed that's not a word. He said, "Judge is a word!" I told him he needs to turn it around- he then took each letter and turned it upside down.
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nowhammies
Artemis
Big bucks, No Whammies, STOP!
Posts: 392
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Post by nowhammies on Jul 14, 2008 15:49:07 GMT -11
Heh - cute, JJ. Kids are so darn funny.
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Post by lissleigh on Jul 22, 2008 9:15:58 GMT -11
This week my dad is home from work. He woke up early with my son and took care of him so I could sleep in. When I woke up at 11am I almost died thinking I didnt hear the baby and jumped up. I heard him scream. So I ran out of my room I look down stairs and hes at the bottom of the stairs with my dad with his bucket over his head running into walls. It was the funniest thing. Then my dad took him outside and my dog was barking then my son went over to where the dog was and started barking at the people walking by also. It was so cute
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Post by blondeness on Jul 27, 2008 12:17:02 GMT -11
Your dad sounds great! I'd love to hang out with him
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Post by blondeness on Aug 2, 2008 18:07:04 GMT -11
Tonight we took my parents to dinner at Red Robin. It was really busy and the six of us (my kids, parents, hub and I) were seated at a round-top in the middle of the restaurant. The waitress brought us our food and asked, "Can I get you anything else?" My dad said, "No, now we come to the Lord in prayer." And without missing a beat, my mom turns to her and asks, "Would you like to join us?" The stunned waitress obliged and my mom took her hand, and on the other side, my shocked teenage daughter took her hand... and we all awkwardly took hands and my mom prayed.
It was all at once hilarious, mortifying, and oddly touching.
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Post by blondeness on Aug 2, 2008 18:07:55 GMT -11
Oh, and my kids say they will never go out to dinner again with Oma and Opa.
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Post by graphicsguy on Aug 2, 2008 19:39:50 GMT -11
Thanks to a bizarre schedule that had me working a Tuesday night into Wednesday morning, a Thurday morning, and a rare Friday day off, when I woke up Saturday, I thought it was Sunday.
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Post by poultrygeist on Aug 3, 2008 9:52:08 GMT -11
I read JJs quote from Zappa and contemplated renaming my kids Dweezil and Moon Unit. Then I decided to reply on as many threads as possible to see my name all the way down the screen.
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Post by frznentreeoh on Aug 6, 2008 10:03:16 GMT -11
I don't have a lot of silly things that happen to me, but I do make a lot of silly things for other people!
For example....
I was coming out of the mall one day. As I am coming into the mall, this little old lady had gotten out of her car and was inching her walker towards the mall. Being a gentleman, I stood there to hold the door. As I am waiting there, about 4 people all walk through the door before the old lady. A group of teenagers were all watching this happen.
The lady finally goes through the door and I am JUST about to leave to go to my car when a group of people start coming out of the door. Since I am there and all, I continue holding the door. So these people are all through and I am JUST about to leave when an OLD MAN starts walking to the mall to get it.
"Hold that door please!!!" proclaims the old man. As he is coming up to the door, he says "Thank you so much... you held the door for my wife too.. that was very kind of you." The guys tries to give me money.
So I put on my best Superhero voice... "No payment needed kind sir! DOOR-HOLDER MAN is always willing to help!!!" The guy was inside at this point. Then I shout "DOOOOOR HOLDER MAN.... AWAAAAAAY!!!!" as I put my hands out like I am flying and walk away going "PSSHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"
As I was leaving I heard the teenagers laughing their asses off. It was quite fun.
There is also my random sillyness I provided the other day. I went to K-Mart to get a Turtle Sandbox for my daughter. I also had to get some Butt-Paste, a new Diaper Bag, and some of those Croc style shoes for my nephew.
I ask the girl at the information desk (quite the hottie) about the Turtle Sand Boxes. She instructs me back outside, where they are being stacked out front. So I walk out, grab the turtle box, bring it back in, and then realize I don't want to carry that thing around the whole store.
So I go back up to the desk where the hottie is at. I figured they wouldn't mind keeping it behind the counter until I got done shopping. As I approach the counter, there is this older - Probably 58? - woman at the counter returning things. She has about 9 different items or so.
As she is handing these things to the hottie behind the counter, the woman starts talking about EVERYTHING to this poor minimum wage earner. At one point, the woman talks about her Discover Card with a $1000 dollar limit and how she had to cut it up to keep from maxing it out because buying nice stuff was so tempting (SHE WAS AT K-MART).
Mind you, her talking about her favorite flavor to put on sushi and how her Grandkids are going to blow up the aliens on Mars (not really) was making this process for the girl behind the counter take FOREVER. Actually, recalling the event, it was the hottie asking the woman for the card she purchased the items with (to refund the amount back to it) that spawned the discussion about her Discover.
Now, I have seen this happen before at least a dozen times. If you don't have your receipt, you get a card with the amount to use IN the store. It is standard procedure. The girls starts to mention this to the woman. The woman decides to start going into another story about how she doesn't shop here that often and how she could use the money to get her cat declawed or something. The hottie says nothing and just opens her drawer and cashes out the woman for her returns. Then, as I am stepping up, the woman jumps back in front and asks if she can have her ALDI's Shopping Bag back so she can use it again (I think you get charged 5 cents for one?). The hottie had already tossed it in the trash and let the lady know. She wanted it anyway. :BARF:
So finally, the non-stop talker of doom finally leaves and I get to step up. I present the turtle to the hottie.
Frzn: Hi, I have to get a few things in the store too, can I leave this back here? Hottie: Yeah, no problem. -- She reaches for the Turtle Sandbox. Frzn: -- I pull it back a bit. Hey, do I have to tell you my entire life story before I can put this back there? Hottie: wha-- OH! No... its cool. -- she smiles really big and laughs.
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Little_One
Artemis
I'm like a mix between Fergie and Jesus.
Posts: 173
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Post by Little_One on Aug 6, 2008 11:14:27 GMT -11
I'm still getting over a really bad sunburn and my forehead was peeling a little bit so I put lotion on. I was sitting across my mom at a booth in a restaurant and it looked like she was reading a banner over my head. She mumbled something so I looked behind me but there was no poster so then she's like "Bend forward so I can rub that bit off lotion in!" I say "Oohhh...I thought you were saying something about Ben Ford! I was about to say 'Who dat?'" We had a laugh over that.
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Post by ♥~KarinaKay~♥ on Aug 6, 2008 14:16:55 GMT -11
At one point, the woman talks about her Discover Card with a $1000 dollar limit and how she had to cut it up to keep from maxing it out because buying nice stuff was so tempting (SHE WAS AT K-MART). This had me rolling! Reminds me of the lady who said the only time she gets dressed up is when she goes shopping at Wal-mart.
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Post by «Foz» on Aug 7, 2008 0:45:18 GMT -11
Ok, so this happened awhile back, but for some reason I just thought of it. I was trying to convince my hubby to take me to New England for our next vacation. He looked at me serious as a heart attack and asked, "What state is New England in?" I just turned and walked away.
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Post by lissleigh on Aug 7, 2008 2:18:23 GMT -11
yesturday my mom was holding my son. About 5 mins later shes still holding him and gave a loud groan. I said whats wrong? She said "he smells. Who as a stinky diaper???" My son raised his hands while his eyes are still glued to the TV. My mom and I just busted out laughing.
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Post by frznentreeoh on Aug 7, 2008 3:29:51 GMT -11
yesturday my mom was holding my son. About 5 mins later shes still holding him and gave a loud groan. I said whats wrong? She said "he smells. Who as a stinky diaper???" My son raised his hands while his eyes are still glued to the TV. My mom and I just busted out laughing. My daughter will come walking up to you. "poop.... ewwwwww... hmm-mmm ewwwww.... no Kallie....poop." She has gotten to realize when she poops, but doesn't want to touch it because it is gross. So she says ewwwww, no kallie, hmm-mmm.
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