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Post by krystalmoore1986 on Oct 28, 2008 10:47:17 GMT -11
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth to a woman and he takes his very life into his own hands.
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: WOW! Look at you! ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: Could we be overreacting? SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars. ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left. SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that? ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day? SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today. SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe! ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
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CougarBob
Hermes
Where is Everybody???
Posts: 997
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Post by CougarBob on Oct 28, 2008 10:53:35 GMT -11
Krys ... perfect!
Here, have some chocolate.
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CougarBob
Hermes
Where is Everybody???
Posts: 997
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Post by CougarBob on Oct 28, 2008 11:17:21 GMT -11
My best friend (a woman) sent this to me. Pretty funny ...
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED
Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
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Post by krystalmoore1986 on Nov 1, 2008 8:54:34 GMT -11
oh thats a good one too CB
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