Post by spoilerspielman on Jun 11, 2008 13:46:36 GMT -11
Hi all, this is a collection of deleted scenes from last week's episode. [jk]
Enjoy!
"Laugh and Grow Fat"
-Fatman
SCENE 1
[cut to a scene of Jason, Grant and Kris in the TAPS van driving to the Moss Beach Distillery]
Grant: Hey Kris, why don't you fill us in on the distillery?
Kris: Um...what do you mean? I thought you guys picked this one out so you could hang out by the beach-
Grant: SHHHHH!!!
[Jason covers the on board camera with his hand, but forgets that it also records audio]
Jason: Kris, you're supposed to say something like: 'oh yeah, its really haunted by the Black lady'
Grant: Black Lady? The ghost is Black?
Jason: Who cares what she is. Anyways, lets try this again.
[Jason puts his hand down from the camera]
Jason: So Kris, fill us in.
Kris: Um...the uh, Black lady, you know, she like shows up and frightens the guests. How's that?
Jason: Perfect!
[Steve chimes in from walkie talkie]
Steve [walkie talkie]: Hey, I don't see you guys behind us. Did you get lost?
Jason: Wait, whaddaya mean? I thought you were following me!
Steve [walkie talkie]: Noooo, remember back at the truck stop you gave me the map?
Jason: Oh yeah, we stopped so Tango could take a dump.
Steve [walkie talkie]: Is his diarrhea any better?
Jason: How should I know?
Steve [walkie talkie]: Well, he's with you isn't he?
Jason: What? He's supposed to be with you!
Steve [walkie talkie]: I'm riding solo; you said 'you go on ahead, ill get princess when we comes out of the stall.'
[suddenly, Grant's cell goes off. Its Tango.]
Grant: Hello Tango?
[Tango answers from the truck stop where eight truckers are arguing about who is going to ride him first]
Tango [cell phone]: Sir! Please come back for me! These truckers all have STD's! They're bidding on me!
Grant: Okay, okay, we'll come back for you, just sit tight.
[hangs up]
Jason: It was Tango huh...
Grant: Yeah he's being auctioned off as a sex slave again...
Jason: We're always forgetting about him...
END SCENE
SCENE 2
Walkthrough: Moss Beach Distillery
[Jason, Grant and Steve meet Chef Spencer in front of the Distillery.]
Chef Spencer: Hello! Welcome to the Moss Beach Distillery! I'm a big fan of the show!
Jason: Hey...
Chef Spencer: So we have over 80 years of paranormal activity here, all centered around-
Jason: Yeah, well as of now, you got nuthin'. At least until WE confirm it.
Chef Spencer: Umm...ok; so anyways, all our activity is centered around the infamous Blue Lady.
Jason: Wait, our, um... 'crack research team' back home told us it was a 'Black' Lady
Chef Spencer: Actually she's blue.
Grant: Oh, I see
Jason: Blue? I only know white, black, brown and yellow.
Steve: Don't forget red.
Jason: What ethnicity is blue?
[Chef Spencer looks at them with a befuddled look; he thinks they are idiots.]
END SCENE
SCENE 3
Investigation: Moss Beach Distillery
[cut to a scene of Steve and Tango outside the Distillery. Tango is giggling like an idiot over some pictures he has in his hands.]
Tango: Check it out man!
[he's holding pics of Kris's trip to Miami; he got it off her myspace]
Steve: Boy, I'd love to have her communicate with my spirit!
Tango: HAHA, good one chief!
Steve: Send em to me or else I'll tell her.
Tango: Okay, just let me...you know...
[Tango does the universal sign with his hand]
Steve: Ugh...gross
Tango: Tee hee...
Steve: Actually...I'll give you [reaches in his wallet] another $60 bucks if you do it in the kitchen.
Tango: Really?! Boy, this sure is better than that other bet with the crawlspace.
Steve: Yeah but, I want you to really muck that place up.
Tango: Oh trust me...I'm an expert.
Steve: Yeah I bet you are spanky; get to work and don't come back with a full tank.
Tango: I won't let you down sir!
[Tango grabs his pics and heads for the kitchen]
END SCENE
SCENE 4
Investigation: Moss Beach Distillery
[Jason and Grant have already uncovered the speaker in the bathroom and the mirror with the face in it; they are in the hallway leading to the kitchen. They bump into Tango who looks awfully tired]
Jason: Tango you okay?
Tango: Yeah boss, just real eager to...[exhales] catch a spook...
Grant: Good man Tango...
[Tango runs off]
[Jason notices one of the ceiling tiles are loose; after uncovering the speaker in the bathroom, he thinks its another gag of fakery and investigates]
Jason: Look up at that tile in the ceiling...its loose.
Grant: Why would it be loose?
Jason: Let me see...
[Jason reaches up to move the tile; Grant leans against the wall and brushes up his hand on some sticky substance.]
Grant: Oh, my God...
Jason: What is it?
[Grant holds up his hand with the mucus-like fluid dripping from his fingers]
Grant: Fake Ecto Plasm...
Jason: You've got to be friggin kidding me...
[cut to a shot of grant explaining ecto plasm]
Grant: I've felt and smelt real ecto plasm before; it is totally not like this. Right there, we lost all faith in the distillery and Chef Spencer.
[cut back to the investigation]
Grant: Here, let me see that ceiling tile up there...
[Grant leans up and discovers a hidden speaker behind it]
Jason: What do you see G?
Grant: Speaker. A fadgin speaker.
Jason: Pitiful. Alright come on down-
Grant: -I just-AAAAHHHHH!
[Grant slips on some more 'ecto plasm' on the floor]
Jason: You okay buddy!
Grant: [bleeped]! Fadgin ecto plasm!
Jason: Let's just get outta here...
END SCENE
SCENE 5
Investigation: Moss Beach Distillery
[cut to Steve and Tango on the bluff looking for the Blue lady]
Tango: This is Steve and Tango looking for the Black lady on the cliff
Steve: Not unlike my day job...
Tango: Black lady if you're here can you manifest yourself?
Steve: Yeah, c'mon out sparklin' wiggles!
Tango: We're gonna catch you on DVR beeatch!
[suddenly, the two approach the cliff and notice how steep it is. Steve who is afraid of heights, grows worried.]
Steve: Ah man, this was a bad idea.
Tango: I can barely see anything...
Steve: You know what? Screw it. They don't pay us enough to go out on cliffs and [bleeped].
Tango: Good idea chief.
Steve: Besides, how the heck are we supposed to see a black ghost in the dark?
Tango: That's a great point, I never thought of it that way.
END SCENE
SCENE 6
Investigation: Moss Beach Distillery
[cut to a scene of Grant, Jason and Kris in the Torres dining room.]
Grant: So Kris, we thought this would be a good opportunity for you to get some experience, so grab your EMF detector and we'll be back at the command center.
Kris: By myself!? In this creepy place!!
Jason: Its just the friggin Torres dining room!
Kris: Torres? I thought the ghost was black?
Grant: Dominican maybe?
Jason: Whatever! Just go in there and catch ghosts.
15 MINUTES LATER
[Cut to a scene of Kris in the Torres dining room; she is frantically running around the place as the lamps teeter back and forth and the voice of laughter
from the speaker in the ceiling is heard.]
Kris: Oh my God! Don't hurt me Black lady!
[Jason and Grant are watching her antics from the command center and contact her via walkie talkie]
Grant [walkie talkie]: Kris, do you report any evidence?
Kris: no...[shudders] I'm really scared!
[Kris is in the fetal position in a corner of the Torres dining room with her eyes closed, hoping the noises and laughter will stop]
Jason [walkie talkie]: C'mon Kris, man up! we need some shots of you actually doing something besides helping setup the equipment!
Kris: No! This place is really haunted! There's laughter and the lamps are moving! The Black lady hates me!
Grant [walkie talkie]: Kris there's nothing in there that can hurt you, we talked about this.
Kris: Oh right, I'm not supposed to be scared of a Black lady that can make lamps move around and make her face come out in mirrors! WAAAAHHHH!
Jason [walkie talkie]: Kris, this is against TAPS beliefs-
Kris: [bleeped] you! I don't need this alright! I was in Mystic River! AIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!
Jason [walkie talkie]: Yeah, thats right, I remember how spectator 31 added layers of depth to the film's climax...
END SCENE
SCENE 7
The Reveal: Moss Beach Distillery
[After being duped by the gags and 'fake ecto plasm' Jason and Grant angrily confront Chef Spencer at the Distillery]
Jason: So you watch the show, so you know what we do, we put cameras everywhere and we do our thing.
Chef Spencer: ...okay
Grant: But we uncovered some gags all over the place, like in the women's bathroom.
Chef Spencer: Oh the laughing speaker thing...right...tee hee
Jason: So its difficult to do an investigation where the client is trying to fake evidence.
Grant: We didn't appreciate not knowing that-
Chef Spencer: lol...
Jason: What's so funny ponch?
Chef Spencer: oh...nothing...
Grant: Well, is there any reason why you chose not to tell us beforehand?
Chef Spencer: It just slipped my mind because I don't often go into the ladies room.
Jason: Heh, yeah i find that hard to believe...
Chef Spencer: Look Kojak, these devices have been installed for years.
Jason: So how can I trust any of the stories we heard? I bet the Black lady was just some ho!
Grant: Dontcha mean 'hoax'?
Chef Spencer: She's a Blue lady and shes not a ho!
Jason: I bet you're not even a real chef!
Chef Spencer: I'm executive chef! I'm real dammit!
Grant: Guys lets settle down-
Jason: -no, 'F' this guy GW! Look Spencer, I went in your stupid haunted kitchen and my little buddy here slipped on some of your 'fake' ectoplasm!
Chef Spencer: There is no fake ecto plasm!
Jason: People like you make me sick! We come here to help you out because you called one of our TAPS family members saying you needed help, and-
Chef Spencer: -What family member, your friggin' cousin? I don't know what the hell you're talking about!
Jason: We're a non-profit organization! So bow down!
Chef Spencer: You guys are on T.V.! Don't give me that!
Grant: ...we could've been out here helping families-
Jason: -yeah, and, and...fighting terrorism!
Chef Spencer: What!?! Give me a break!
Jason: well...yeah! Because we're like the army; we go into dark and dangerous locales with night vision and all this equipment and we put our lives on the line every single case! Its just that...instead of Al-Qaeda, its, you know...shadow people and stuff.
Chef Spencer: I'm sorry, but are you comparing what you morons do to soldiers in a war?
Jason: Well sort of! I mean America's like: yeah, we got the army fighting the terrorists in Iraq, they got that covered, but who's gonna fight the demons and spooks in our own backyard? Who ya gonna Call? TAPS.
Chef Spencer: Wow...just, wow...you people are full of it.
Jason: You, your Black lady and your fatness are enemies of freedom!
Chef Spencer: [bleeped] you, whale-man!
[the two men stand to face each other, escalating the confrontation; Grant remains seated, his head in his hands after Jason just compared TAPS to the U.S. armed forces]
Jason: You tried to make fools of us on T.V.!
Chef Spencer: You do a pretty good job of that on a weekly basis!
Jason: Oh yeah! You're just jealous cuz no one would watch you on a weekly basis making cheesecakes from your own back fat!
Chef Spencer: This is such bull [bleeped]! How can you call me fat?! You easily have at least 100 lbs. on me!
[off camera, Tango sneaks in and crouches behind Spencer; Jason notices and takes advantage of the opportunity. He pushes Spencer and the Chef falls back over Tango]
Chef Spencer: [bleeped]!
Jason: Get em! Get em!
Grant: What the hell are you guys doing!
[Steve bursts through the door with handcuffs.]
Steve: I got em!
Jason: Hurry up and cuff 'stay puff' over here; were taking him to the bluff!
Grant: What!? This is crazy!
Jason: But first...
[Jason takes one of his shoes off and removes one of his socks-he hasn't changed them since they left Rhode Island]
Jason: For once I'm glad that my wife forgot to pack my socks!
[He pinches Chef Spencer's nose and as he opens his mouth to breathe, stuffs the dirty yellow sock in the Chef's mouth.]
Chef Spencer: MMMMMPPPPPPHHHHH!!!!!!
END SCENE
SCENE 8
The Reveal: Moss Beach Distillery
[The entire team drag a handcuffed and muffled Chef Spencer out to the bluff]
Chef Spencer: MMMPPH! MMMPHHH!!!
Jason: You thought it was funny huh!? You were laughin it up back there! 'oh, it slipped my mind'!
Tango: Yeah, you tell em skipper!
Grant: Jay, this has gone far enough! Let him go!
[Jason removes his dirty sock form his mouth]
Jason: Admit you were wrong you iron chef reject!
Spencer: You know what?! Screw you chowder heads! You should've known better, I mean when you guys got here you thought that the Blue lady was black! What kind of investigation is that? Some 'crack research team' you guys are!
Kris: Okay, now I'm REALLY confused. is it a black lady in a blue dress or a white lady in a blue dress?
Steve: Maybe its a white lady who got her [bleeped] whooped on, hence the phrase 'black and blue'
Jason: Enough!
[Jason grabs Chef Spencer and drags him to the edge of the cliff]
Chef Spencer: Please don't kill me!
Jason: Admit that you're a hoax and a fatty!
Tango: Yes and that it was you who [bleeped] off in the kitchen!
[the whole team looks at Tango confused.]
Chef Spencer: I wasn't in the kitchen the whole night!? I don't know what you're talking about!
Steve: Boy it looks like a long drop from up here...
Chef Spencer: Nooooo! Don't kill me! Okay, okay, TAPS is awesome!
Jason: Look into the camera and thank us for coming.
Chef Spencer: Thanks for coming! I'm fat! TAPS is fighting the terrorists!
[Steve looks down at Spencer's pants and notices they're wet]
Steve: Looks like billy wet the bed!
Jason: Haha Loser!
Kris: Can we go back to the hotel now!? I cant be up this late, I'll get bags under my eyes!
Grant: Yeah Jay, you've had your fun; let it go...
Jason: Okay, but one more thing...
[Jason pulls down his pants and rubs his bottom on Chef Spencer's face]
Chef Spencer: Get off me! I hate you people! ARRGHH!
[The team leave Chef Spencer handcuffed on the bluff.]
Kris: You're just gonna leave him there?!
Jason: Yeah, maybe the [bleeped] Blue Lady will save his fat [bleeped]!
[cut to a scene of Jason and Grant in the TAPS van]
Grant: Man, I'm glad that's over...
Jason: Yeah, we better get on myspace soon; we have a lot of spinning to do... I can just imagine those jerks at the message board now...
FIN
More Deleted Scenes based on Ghost Hunters International coming soon!
-Stay Wired
SS
Enjoy!
"Laugh and Grow Fat"
-Fatman
SCENE 1
[cut to a scene of Jason, Grant and Kris in the TAPS van driving to the Moss Beach Distillery]
Grant: Hey Kris, why don't you fill us in on the distillery?
Kris: Um...what do you mean? I thought you guys picked this one out so you could hang out by the beach-
Grant: SHHHHH!!!
[Jason covers the on board camera with his hand, but forgets that it also records audio]
Jason: Kris, you're supposed to say something like: 'oh yeah, its really haunted by the Black lady'
Grant: Black Lady? The ghost is Black?
Jason: Who cares what she is. Anyways, lets try this again.
[Jason puts his hand down from the camera]
Jason: So Kris, fill us in.
Kris: Um...the uh, Black lady, you know, she like shows up and frightens the guests. How's that?
Jason: Perfect!
[Steve chimes in from walkie talkie]
Steve [walkie talkie]: Hey, I don't see you guys behind us. Did you get lost?
Jason: Wait, whaddaya mean? I thought you were following me!
Steve [walkie talkie]: Noooo, remember back at the truck stop you gave me the map?
Jason: Oh yeah, we stopped so Tango could take a dump.
Steve [walkie talkie]: Is his diarrhea any better?
Jason: How should I know?
Steve [walkie talkie]: Well, he's with you isn't he?
Jason: What? He's supposed to be with you!
Steve [walkie talkie]: I'm riding solo; you said 'you go on ahead, ill get princess when we comes out of the stall.'
[suddenly, Grant's cell goes off. Its Tango.]
Grant: Hello Tango?
[Tango answers from the truck stop where eight truckers are arguing about who is going to ride him first]
Tango [cell phone]: Sir! Please come back for me! These truckers all have STD's! They're bidding on me!
Grant: Okay, okay, we'll come back for you, just sit tight.
[hangs up]
Jason: It was Tango huh...
Grant: Yeah he's being auctioned off as a sex slave again...
Jason: We're always forgetting about him...
END SCENE
SCENE 2
Walkthrough: Moss Beach Distillery
[Jason, Grant and Steve meet Chef Spencer in front of the Distillery.]
Chef Spencer: Hello! Welcome to the Moss Beach Distillery! I'm a big fan of the show!
Jason: Hey...
Chef Spencer: So we have over 80 years of paranormal activity here, all centered around-
Jason: Yeah, well as of now, you got nuthin'. At least until WE confirm it.
Chef Spencer: Umm...ok; so anyways, all our activity is centered around the infamous Blue Lady.
Jason: Wait, our, um... 'crack research team' back home told us it was a 'Black' Lady
Chef Spencer: Actually she's blue.
Grant: Oh, I see
Jason: Blue? I only know white, black, brown and yellow.
Steve: Don't forget red.
Jason: What ethnicity is blue?
[Chef Spencer looks at them with a befuddled look; he thinks they are idiots.]
END SCENE
SCENE 3
Investigation: Moss Beach Distillery
[cut to a scene of Steve and Tango outside the Distillery. Tango is giggling like an idiot over some pictures he has in his hands.]
Tango: Check it out man!
[he's holding pics of Kris's trip to Miami; he got it off her myspace]
Steve: Boy, I'd love to have her communicate with my spirit!
Tango: HAHA, good one chief!
Steve: Send em to me or else I'll tell her.
Tango: Okay, just let me...you know...
[Tango does the universal sign with his hand]
Steve: Ugh...gross
Tango: Tee hee...
Steve: Actually...I'll give you [reaches in his wallet] another $60 bucks if you do it in the kitchen.
Tango: Really?! Boy, this sure is better than that other bet with the crawlspace.
Steve: Yeah but, I want you to really muck that place up.
Tango: Oh trust me...I'm an expert.
Steve: Yeah I bet you are spanky; get to work and don't come back with a full tank.
Tango: I won't let you down sir!
[Tango grabs his pics and heads for the kitchen]
END SCENE
SCENE 4
Investigation: Moss Beach Distillery
[Jason and Grant have already uncovered the speaker in the bathroom and the mirror with the face in it; they are in the hallway leading to the kitchen. They bump into Tango who looks awfully tired]
Jason: Tango you okay?
Tango: Yeah boss, just real eager to...[exhales] catch a spook...
Grant: Good man Tango...
[Tango runs off]
[Jason notices one of the ceiling tiles are loose; after uncovering the speaker in the bathroom, he thinks its another gag of fakery and investigates]
Jason: Look up at that tile in the ceiling...its loose.
Grant: Why would it be loose?
Jason: Let me see...
[Jason reaches up to move the tile; Grant leans against the wall and brushes up his hand on some sticky substance.]
Grant: Oh, my God...
Jason: What is it?
[Grant holds up his hand with the mucus-like fluid dripping from his fingers]
Grant: Fake Ecto Plasm...
Jason: You've got to be friggin kidding me...
[cut to a shot of grant explaining ecto plasm]
Grant: I've felt and smelt real ecto plasm before; it is totally not like this. Right there, we lost all faith in the distillery and Chef Spencer.
[cut back to the investigation]
Grant: Here, let me see that ceiling tile up there...
[Grant leans up and discovers a hidden speaker behind it]
Jason: What do you see G?
Grant: Speaker. A fadgin speaker.
Jason: Pitiful. Alright come on down-
Grant: -I just-AAAAHHHHH!
[Grant slips on some more 'ecto plasm' on the floor]
Jason: You okay buddy!
Grant: [bleeped]! Fadgin ecto plasm!
Jason: Let's just get outta here...
END SCENE
SCENE 5
Investigation: Moss Beach Distillery
[cut to Steve and Tango on the bluff looking for the Blue lady]
Tango: This is Steve and Tango looking for the Black lady on the cliff
Steve: Not unlike my day job...
Tango: Black lady if you're here can you manifest yourself?
Steve: Yeah, c'mon out sparklin' wiggles!
Tango: We're gonna catch you on DVR beeatch!
[suddenly, the two approach the cliff and notice how steep it is. Steve who is afraid of heights, grows worried.]
Steve: Ah man, this was a bad idea.
Tango: I can barely see anything...
Steve: You know what? Screw it. They don't pay us enough to go out on cliffs and [bleeped].
Tango: Good idea chief.
Steve: Besides, how the heck are we supposed to see a black ghost in the dark?
Tango: That's a great point, I never thought of it that way.
END SCENE
SCENE 6
Investigation: Moss Beach Distillery
[cut to a scene of Grant, Jason and Kris in the Torres dining room.]
Grant: So Kris, we thought this would be a good opportunity for you to get some experience, so grab your EMF detector and we'll be back at the command center.
Kris: By myself!? In this creepy place!!
Jason: Its just the friggin Torres dining room!
Kris: Torres? I thought the ghost was black?
Grant: Dominican maybe?
Jason: Whatever! Just go in there and catch ghosts.
15 MINUTES LATER
[Cut to a scene of Kris in the Torres dining room; she is frantically running around the place as the lamps teeter back and forth and the voice of laughter
from the speaker in the ceiling is heard.]
Kris: Oh my God! Don't hurt me Black lady!
[Jason and Grant are watching her antics from the command center and contact her via walkie talkie]
Grant [walkie talkie]: Kris, do you report any evidence?
Kris: no...[shudders] I'm really scared!
[Kris is in the fetal position in a corner of the Torres dining room with her eyes closed, hoping the noises and laughter will stop]
Jason [walkie talkie]: C'mon Kris, man up! we need some shots of you actually doing something besides helping setup the equipment!
Kris: No! This place is really haunted! There's laughter and the lamps are moving! The Black lady hates me!
Grant [walkie talkie]: Kris there's nothing in there that can hurt you, we talked about this.
Kris: Oh right, I'm not supposed to be scared of a Black lady that can make lamps move around and make her face come out in mirrors! WAAAAHHHH!
Jason [walkie talkie]: Kris, this is against TAPS beliefs-
Kris: [bleeped] you! I don't need this alright! I was in Mystic River! AIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!
Jason [walkie talkie]: Yeah, thats right, I remember how spectator 31 added layers of depth to the film's climax...
END SCENE
SCENE 7
The Reveal: Moss Beach Distillery
[After being duped by the gags and 'fake ecto plasm' Jason and Grant angrily confront Chef Spencer at the Distillery]
Jason: So you watch the show, so you know what we do, we put cameras everywhere and we do our thing.
Chef Spencer: ...okay
Grant: But we uncovered some gags all over the place, like in the women's bathroom.
Chef Spencer: Oh the laughing speaker thing...right...tee hee
Jason: So its difficult to do an investigation where the client is trying to fake evidence.
Grant: We didn't appreciate not knowing that-
Chef Spencer: lol...
Jason: What's so funny ponch?
Chef Spencer: oh...nothing...
Grant: Well, is there any reason why you chose not to tell us beforehand?
Chef Spencer: It just slipped my mind because I don't often go into the ladies room.
Jason: Heh, yeah i find that hard to believe...
Chef Spencer: Look Kojak, these devices have been installed for years.
Jason: So how can I trust any of the stories we heard? I bet the Black lady was just some ho!
Grant: Dontcha mean 'hoax'?
Chef Spencer: She's a Blue lady and shes not a ho!
Jason: I bet you're not even a real chef!
Chef Spencer: I'm executive chef! I'm real dammit!
Grant: Guys lets settle down-
Jason: -no, 'F' this guy GW! Look Spencer, I went in your stupid haunted kitchen and my little buddy here slipped on some of your 'fake' ectoplasm!
Chef Spencer: There is no fake ecto plasm!
Jason: People like you make me sick! We come here to help you out because you called one of our TAPS family members saying you needed help, and-
Chef Spencer: -What family member, your friggin' cousin? I don't know what the hell you're talking about!
Jason: We're a non-profit organization! So bow down!
Chef Spencer: You guys are on T.V.! Don't give me that!
Grant: ...we could've been out here helping families-
Jason: -yeah, and, and...fighting terrorism!
Chef Spencer: What!?! Give me a break!
Jason: well...yeah! Because we're like the army; we go into dark and dangerous locales with night vision and all this equipment and we put our lives on the line every single case! Its just that...instead of Al-Qaeda, its, you know...shadow people and stuff.
Chef Spencer: I'm sorry, but are you comparing what you morons do to soldiers in a war?
Jason: Well sort of! I mean America's like: yeah, we got the army fighting the terrorists in Iraq, they got that covered, but who's gonna fight the demons and spooks in our own backyard? Who ya gonna Call? TAPS.
Chef Spencer: Wow...just, wow...you people are full of it.
Jason: You, your Black lady and your fatness are enemies of freedom!
Chef Spencer: [bleeped] you, whale-man!
[the two men stand to face each other, escalating the confrontation; Grant remains seated, his head in his hands after Jason just compared TAPS to the U.S. armed forces]
Jason: You tried to make fools of us on T.V.!
Chef Spencer: You do a pretty good job of that on a weekly basis!
Jason: Oh yeah! You're just jealous cuz no one would watch you on a weekly basis making cheesecakes from your own back fat!
Chef Spencer: This is such bull [bleeped]! How can you call me fat?! You easily have at least 100 lbs. on me!
[off camera, Tango sneaks in and crouches behind Spencer; Jason notices and takes advantage of the opportunity. He pushes Spencer and the Chef falls back over Tango]
Chef Spencer: [bleeped]!
Jason: Get em! Get em!
Grant: What the hell are you guys doing!
[Steve bursts through the door with handcuffs.]
Steve: I got em!
Jason: Hurry up and cuff 'stay puff' over here; were taking him to the bluff!
Grant: What!? This is crazy!
Jason: But first...
[Jason takes one of his shoes off and removes one of his socks-he hasn't changed them since they left Rhode Island]
Jason: For once I'm glad that my wife forgot to pack my socks!
[He pinches Chef Spencer's nose and as he opens his mouth to breathe, stuffs the dirty yellow sock in the Chef's mouth.]
Chef Spencer: MMMMMPPPPPPHHHHH!!!!!!
END SCENE
SCENE 8
The Reveal: Moss Beach Distillery
[The entire team drag a handcuffed and muffled Chef Spencer out to the bluff]
Chef Spencer: MMMPPH! MMMPHHH!!!
Jason: You thought it was funny huh!? You were laughin it up back there! 'oh, it slipped my mind'!
Tango: Yeah, you tell em skipper!
Grant: Jay, this has gone far enough! Let him go!
[Jason removes his dirty sock form his mouth]
Jason: Admit you were wrong you iron chef reject!
Spencer: You know what?! Screw you chowder heads! You should've known better, I mean when you guys got here you thought that the Blue lady was black! What kind of investigation is that? Some 'crack research team' you guys are!
Kris: Okay, now I'm REALLY confused. is it a black lady in a blue dress or a white lady in a blue dress?
Steve: Maybe its a white lady who got her [bleeped] whooped on, hence the phrase 'black and blue'
Jason: Enough!
[Jason grabs Chef Spencer and drags him to the edge of the cliff]
Chef Spencer: Please don't kill me!
Jason: Admit that you're a hoax and a fatty!
Tango: Yes and that it was you who [bleeped] off in the kitchen!
[the whole team looks at Tango confused.]
Chef Spencer: I wasn't in the kitchen the whole night!? I don't know what you're talking about!
Steve: Boy it looks like a long drop from up here...
Chef Spencer: Nooooo! Don't kill me! Okay, okay, TAPS is awesome!
Jason: Look into the camera and thank us for coming.
Chef Spencer: Thanks for coming! I'm fat! TAPS is fighting the terrorists!
[Steve looks down at Spencer's pants and notices they're wet]
Steve: Looks like billy wet the bed!
Jason: Haha Loser!
Kris: Can we go back to the hotel now!? I cant be up this late, I'll get bags under my eyes!
Grant: Yeah Jay, you've had your fun; let it go...
Jason: Okay, but one more thing...
[Jason pulls down his pants and rubs his bottom on Chef Spencer's face]
Chef Spencer: Get off me! I hate you people! ARRGHH!
[The team leave Chef Spencer handcuffed on the bluff.]
Kris: You're just gonna leave him there?!
Jason: Yeah, maybe the [bleeped] Blue Lady will save his fat [bleeped]!
[cut to a scene of Jason and Grant in the TAPS van]
Grant: Man, I'm glad that's over...
Jason: Yeah, we better get on myspace soon; we have a lot of spinning to do... I can just imagine those jerks at the message board now...
FIN
More Deleted Scenes based on Ghost Hunters International coming soon!
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